Monday, January 14, 2008

No Question About It

I know some people are praying for me with my less than enthused reception to some aspects of evangelicalism, but save your prayers for a rather desperate prayer request which has just come to light. November's survey results have been returned from Schmaltznegger ministries inc., the organisation run by Rev Randle J Schmaltznegger, the ebullient American spiritual dynamo, counselor extraordinaire, evangelist supreme, and bigot-hearted Christian patriarch. Not a terrific response from VNP readers, mind you, but these are postmodern times so we can make it up as we go along.
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The survey has revealed a clear need for urgent prayer. Rev Schmaltznegger comments on the results: "Where ever I go I find there is a great thirst for an outpouring of God's Spirit and this survey proves it. People just want to know God's initimate touch. If questioned on the need for God's power today you cannot but say 'Yes!'. However, I was very burdened in the Spirit when I noticed that not all survey respondents answered 'yes' to all questions as they should have done. One person actually answered 'no' to one of the questions. I advise that person to make himself known so he can receive some Spirit filled counselling and I can lay my hands on him to receive the power of God and have his spiritual blockages unblocked. As a reader of VNP he could be holding up the whole work of God at VNP and this may explain why this blog is not receiving the rich blessing it so desperately needs."
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Clearly then, we have a deep spiritual need here at VNP that should be prayed about. Or alternatively we may have someone here who is just fed up with being blackmailed by manipulative spiritual demands that don't admit a negative response without incurring spiritual recrimination and therefore just wants to protest.